LIVING WITH LONG COVID – MY JOURNEY FROM 6th March 2021 to September 2022 #BrainfluffLIVINGWITHLONGCOVID

Like millions of people around the world, I contracted Covid-19 before the vaccine programme had time to be rolled out – indeed, I caught it two days after having my first jab, which meant it wasn’t remotely helpful. And like a distressingly large percentage of those millions – I suddenly found my life sliding to a stop in the aftermath of the disease as I was besieged by a succession of symptoms, one in particular being life-altering.

Each person’s experience with the disease has varied widely – there are over 200 symptoms caused by Long Covid. And particularly when I first became ill, finding reliable advice on how to best cope with the illness was difficult. While my doctor’s surgery has been as helpful as they can – and I’ve never encountered anything but kindness and complete acceptance of my version of events from everyone there – they often weren’t able to help. I still remain on the waiting list for the local Long Covid clinic.

So whenever I was sufficiently fit, I logged my ongoing progress on my blog to give folks an inkling as to why I’d gone silent. And now that I think I have mostly recovered from all the major symptoms, I want to sum up my experience and explain what happened and what helped in the hope that another desperate soul trawling the internet, looking for something – anything – that could offer answers for what has befallen them might find some of it useful. So I will be offering up details about myself that I wouldn’t usually reveal. Please treat the information with respect in any comments.

Firstly, I’m a British, white, middle-class woman in my mid-sixties, who is reasonably active and before March 2021, I led a busy, happy life as a writer and Creative Writing tutor. I’ve no underlying health issues, other than mild hypertension which is controlled by a low dose of prescription medication. I caught the Kent strain of Covid from my husband, a train driver, who went down with it when it swept through the train crew at his depot, leaving four people hospitalised and one of them dead. We both went down with the illness hard, though in completely different ways. Himself had a hacking cough and struggled to breathe, and given that he has severe sleep apnea and needs a mask, he found the only way to get any relief was to remain upright. So he camped in the lounge swathed in blankets with the fire full on for four days. Whereas I was running a temperature and couldn’t bear to be anywhere so hot and although I had aching limbs and a sore head, I was overwhelmingly exhausted and just wanted to sleep – often for over ten hours and once for eighteen hours straight. On several occasions I staggered downstairs to make sure he was still alive – and I know that he also checked on me. His blood oxygen levels dropped worryingly low and so he had phone consultations with the local surgery for several days.

However, we both recovered. Indeed, Himself made it back to work impressively quickly despite my concerns that he was pushing himself too hard. Whereas I remained feeling very washed out. On one sunny day, I decided to wash the curtains – and ended up back in bed. In fact, it seemed if ever I tried to do something more than the bare minimum – I’d end up once more engulfed in a terrible tiredness that left me shaking and retching, unable to stand, unable to even think. And increasingly I was confined to bed. By the middle of April I had to face the fact that I wasn’t making a clean recovery and had been stuck with Long Covid. I’ll list the symptoms I encountered below, what I did to try and deal with them and whether it worked. Over the last 18 months, I’ve had:-

• Bladder problems. This surfaced during the initial illness, but continued recurring during my relapses, resulting in occasional accidents. Not only was this distressing, but always occurred when I wasn’t very well, anyway which just made me feel even worse.
My solution: Once I realised that this was an issue, I resorted to the advice given me by my lovely Health Visitor half a lifetime ago, after having had a breech birth. Every time I turned a tap on, I contracted my bladder for a slow count of 5. And every time I went to the toilet, I’d attempt to stop my urine flow. Gradually, my control increased until it was no longer a problem – although I was interested to note that whenever I was in the grip of a relapse, I couldn’t stop my urine flow. So the two were definitely connected.

• Digestive problems. I lost my appetite during Covid-19 and only ate when my stomach starting hurting through hunger. For a long time afterwards, my appetite was depressed. I’m sure that this was also because I wasn’t doing very much. But I did discover that certain foods caused bloating, wind and tummy upsets. Over time most of the discomfort and upsets have eased, except when I try eating onions.
My solution: Taking digestive medication did ease the symptoms, but I also avoided eating foods that caused problems for a while, until I felt better. Though I’ll leave it a bit longer before trying with onions again, as the resultant pain and stomach upset frankly isn’t worth it.

• Loss of smell. Like many sufferers, I lost my sense of smell. Though as I’ve the nose of a bloodhound and during the worst of my relapses I was unable to shower or wash for days at a time – it’s one symptom that I recall feeling quite grateful about. It came back slowly over several months, until one day in June 2021 I suddenly realised I could smell the Marmite on my toast. It’s the only symptom that didn’t bother me overmuch at the time and when I reached the stage when I’d have started to mind about it – it was already returning.

• Hair Loss. I began to notice my hair coming out in handfuls sometime in June 2021, especially when brushing or washing it. I’ve always had a good head of hair and I found this symptom particularly devastating. While I was lucky not to have any bald patches, it was noticeably thinner. It had stopped falling out by October 2021, by which time I’d lost between a quarter and half my hair. When it grew back, the new hair was curly, whereas my original hair was straight, which meant that any style quickly became a tousled mess.

My solution: I recently went to the hairdresser and asked her to cut it as short as she could in a style that suits me. Which she did – and I’m a great deal happier. I just could not get used to looking in the mirror after a lifetime of seeing straight hair – and being confronted by those stray curls sticking out in all directions. While my hair was falling out, I was careful when washing it and didn’t towel-dry it or roughly handle it, but other than that – I didn’t find anything that could prevent it. However, everyone told me that it would stop falling out and eventually grow back and they were proved correct.

• Difficulty walking and loss of balance. My mobility was badly compromised right from the start in that I simply didn’t have the energy to move quickly. I’ve always been the sort of person who strides around the place and runs up and down the stairs, so this took some getting used to. However, after a relapse in April I found that I began to struggle with balance problems, too.
My solution: I bought a folding walking stick that I kept in my handbag, despite hating the dratted thing. I had friends who complained of suddenly being invisible once they reached a certain age, something I hadn’t been aware of. But once I was walking slowly and using a stick – I simply became an obstacle that people swished past. Fortunately, we live in a crescent, so I was able to walk around it using the stick whenever I felt well enough. I didn’t need the stick inside the house – but that’s because it’s a small house and I automatically moved from handhold to handhold. In October 2021, I started seeing a reflexologist as my progress seemed stuck. And within three weeks of seeing her, I was able to walk again without the stick. I didn’t regain my former walking speed to enable me to keep up with the family until the beginning of September 2022. Up to that point, everyone had to slow down for me.

• Depression and anxiety. This was a terrible time. We’d both been very ill and I was massively incapacitated, to the extent that Himself became my carer. I could – on good days – shower and dress myself, but that was it. And thank goodness I never reached the stage when I needed help feeding myself or using the toilet, but it was a close-run thing on occasions. Going out or travelling was a non-starter – I could scarcely make it to the car at times when I needed to attend a doctor’s appointment. Worse, no one could tell me when, or if, this would end. I come from a long-lived family – the thought of living like a frail ninety-something for the rest of my years was a terrible prospect. We also lost my lovely father-in-law in the middle of all this and my mother-in-law, suffering from dementia, had to go into a home. You won’t be surprised that I struggled with my mental health.
My solution: The NHS Time-to-Talk scheme was an enormous help. I had ten sessions with a kind person on the end of the phone, on whom I poured out my fears and anxieties. She suggested I try meditation and my son told me about an app called Headspace, which was excellent at teaching me the basic techniques for focusing on my breath. I have since also found other free meditation apps. It helped me to keep in the moment and stop thinking too much about the future – I just had to get through each day at a time, the best way I could. I think it also massively helped that I have a faith and prayed for strength to deal with what was happening. And the fact that I’m a certain age was also a positive factor, as by now I know my own strengths and weaknesses, both physically and emotionally. I also took strength from my family – my sisters were both tremendously helpful. My middle sister ensured I had any medications that I needed, while I was able to talk through much of my feelings with my younger sister, who is a wellness coach, which was another huge help. Taking as much control as I could in dealing with my symptoms was helpful in empowering me to feel less like a victim, as I learnt to cope with the up and down nature of the illness and better understand what was happening to me. I am an avid reader, and that was also a great lifeline. There were times when I was too tired to watch TV, but I could listen to an audiobook and, when I felt better, read a lovely escapist tale on my trusty Kindle. It also helped that Himself was marvellous – endlessly patient and kind, while he was also dealing with his own heartbreak at what was happening to us.

• Brain Fog. And yes… I’m here to tell you it’s a real thing. I was left with my mental faculties badly impaired. I write novels and soon after the initial illness, I sat down at the computer and tried to resume my current book – and just… couldn’t. It was impossible. I couldn’t even think of the right words to use. And in groping for the words, I lost track of what the character was actually trying to say, or even who was saying it. For the first time in my life, I was staring at the computer screen and completely stuck. I tried not to panic about losing my ability to write – and I’m not talking about book reviews, as I can pretty much produce one of those in my sleep. I’m talking about my creative writing.

My mental confusion wasn’t confined to my writing – I’d break off halfway through a conversation, because I lost the thread of what I was trying to say. I’ve always been a chatty person, full of opinions on everything. But partly due to the chronic exhaustion that robbed me of my mental energy, and partly because I was unable to focus, anyway, I became a lot quieter. Indeed, once I began recovering, Himself initially found it quite difficult to get used to the louder, more opinionated version, as he’d had over a year with the quieter model.
My solution: Whenever I felt well enough, I would do wordsearches, sudoku puzzles, TV quizzes, computer brainteasers, word games with the family… anything to stretch my brain. It got worse before it got better, but I am now sufficiently recovered that I don’t immediately notice any lack, except that I don’t possess the mental stamina I used to have. I cannot write for longer than three hours before feeling really tired, though I’m hoping that on regaining my fitness, it will improve, too.

Once I started recovering my mental stamina, soon after I started my reflexology treatment in October 2021, I began editing two other books in the same series as my work-in-progress. It took a while, as there were long periods when I wasn’t well enough to even open up the computer. But eventually, I worked my way through them and finally, in June this year, I managed to complete the chapter that I’d started back in March last year, before I went down with Covid-19. That felt like a very big win.

• Eczema. I have had occasional problems with this itchy skin disorder when particularly stressed. But it started up in the middle of the initial illness and from then on, every single time I had a relapse – back it would come. Right between my shoulder blades.
My solution: A variety of skin creams. I’d find that one would keep the itching down until it didn’t and we’d switch to another one. I went on a completely sugar-free diet in an attempt to alleviate the spells of exhaustion and accidentally discovered that once I stopped eating any processed sugar, the eczema dramatically improved.

• Swollen thyroid and lymph glands. I’d been aware of pressure on my throat soon after the initial illness – and when I’d start to get exhausted, it would get worse often making me feel nauseous. My lymph glands were also swollen, particularly on the right side to the extent that if I stretched my neck, the lump was visible. They were also very tender and downright painful if touched. When I reported this to the doctor, I was sent for scans, which revealed that I’d got nodules on my thyroid and that my lymph glands were badly deformed. I’ve read that Covid-19 seems to attack specific areas of the body – and I think it was my endocrine system that got hammered.
My solution: For a very long time, there wasn’t anything I seemed to be able to do regarding these symptoms. Although I learnt to pay attention to the throbbing discomfort in my neck – it was a useful indicator that I was doing too much and needed to rest. The lymph glands finally shrank back to normal in September this year, after a course of antibiotics for another symptom.

• Persistent chest and upper arm pain. While I didn’t have any breathing problems, during the initial illness, my ribcage was extremely sore with sharp, stabbing pains, especially on the right side. And while the pain cleared up on the left, it continued on the right to the extent that it was months before I was able to wear a bra and I couldn’t lie on my right side in bed as the pain would wake me up.
My solution: I did find that ibuprofen would relieve it when it got painful enough to restrict my movement as I became more active, but as my active periods were interspersed by long periods lying in bed, it wasn’t too much of an issue until I began to fully recover. At that stage, I was referred to the Breast Clinic to ensure the pain wasn’t an indicator of something more nasty. Fortunately, all the scans came back clear, although I found the examinations extremely painful. And I continued to take painkillers when necessary for the pain until it finally eased away in August of this year, which has been a huge relief.

• Night sweats. During the initial illness, I’d been sweating heavily with my high temperature, but the night sweats continued afterwards. I’d put up with this particular misery during the menopause, so wasn’t best pleased when it returned.
My solution: Before I contracted Covid-19, I was someone who very much felt the cold, so I had an electric blanket and thermal nightwear. I gradually realised, while struggling with overheating, that my whole metabolism had altered – I now no longer get so cold. So I got rid of all the extra blankets, bought pure cotton nightshirts to wear and while the sweats continued, particularly during a relapse, at least I was a tad more comfortable.

• Insomnia. This was grim. I’ve struggled to go to bed at a reasonable time for years – but was also aware that trying to regain my energy levels wouldn’t work if I couldn’t get a good night’s sleep. And while I’m sure the lack of activity was an issue, there was no doubt that when I was unwell, getting to sleep was a nightmare. And if I didn’t, then I could very easily find myself still wide awake at 6 am, and dropping off to sleep just as Himself was surfacing and then sleeping the day away. This clearly wasn’t ideal on any level, so I tried to address the situation. This was one of the biggest ongoing struggles throughout my illness and while it’s improved, I still need to work more on it. These days, I average between five and six hours a night, which isn’t anything like good enough. But at least I don’t battle to fall asleep in the way that I used to.
My solution: To try and help address my sleep issues, my lovely son bought me an oura ring, which is specifically designed to give data on sleep and provide feedback to help change behaviours. It’s been a boon, as I can monitor the quality of my sleep and immediately see whether various strategies are working. I also began switching off screens half an hour before going to bed and reading or listening to a story in low light levels to help wind down, along with a night-time meditation. I did try using Sleepcasts, which my son swears by, and are featured on Headspace. These are descriptions of a particular place, ranging from rain forests to libraries, narrated in a soothing voice. They didn’t work for me, but I mention them because Robbie is a huge fan. What did work is listening to an audiobook on my phone, tucked under the pillow so it doesn’t disturb Himself. I put it on a sleep timer and these days, I’m usually asleep before the half an hour is up.

• Tinnitus. I’ve suffered with some tinnitus ever since I burst my eardrum in my 30s. But after going down with Covid-19, this was on a completely different scale. The right ear was far worse than the left and it manifests in a high-pitched squeal. During the day, I was largely able to block it out, except when lying flat in bed, too tired to do anything except stare at the ceiling. That wasn’t fun on any level. And it certainly made getting to sleep more of a challenge. This is the one symptom that hasn’t eased up much, despite my recovery. Fortunately, I’m now well enough to write and frankly – the building could fall down around me and I probably wouldn’t notice. For which I’m very grateful, as it allows me to blank out the ringing in my ears.
My solution: The meditation helps. I have also discovered that drinking too much caffeine aggravates it, so I restrict my intake to 3 small cups a day and all before lunchtime, so I don’t compromise getting to sleep. But listening to a gripping story on an audiobook allows me to zone it out the noise at night so I can sleep.

• Post-Viral Fatigue. This is the single symptom that absolutely felled me. Fatigue… exhaustion… tiredness… there needs to be another word to describe it, because it’s unlike any other type of tiredness I’ve ever experienced. It’s a malaise that left me shaking, unable to stand, feeling sick and giddy with such tiredness that even my bones ached. It wasn’t just physical. It also left me too tired to think, or even care at all much. I’d be alright for a few days, or as much as a week, sometimes. Then I’d wake up, put my foot to the floor – and it would hit me with a sickening wave and I knew that I’d be spending the rest of the day in bed, too tired to do much of anything. The worst relapse was in August 2021 when I was bedridden for fourteen days in a row. And afterwards, I found I’d lost much of the progress I’d already made, so I was left far more compromised. In fact, I still haven’t managed to drive to Chichester and back since then, which I’d done in June to take Himself to his first covid vaccination. This single symptom laid waste to my life – I was unable to cook, or clean and going shopping was a distant dream for months and months. I’ve already mentioned that I lost the ability to write for a very long time. The hardest part was not knowing if I’d ever get better.

But I had a couple of huge advantages – while I was dealing with a range of unpleasant symptoms, most of the time I wasn’t in pain. I don’t underestimate what a lucky break that was. And Himself was a superstar, ever-thoughtful, kind and tireless in keeping everything going. So that gave me the space and determination to try to take control of what was happening to me.
My solution: I got hold of a book – Classic Pacing: For a Better Life with ME by Ingebjørg Midsem Dahl, which gave me a range of coping strategies in order to deal with my new life. The first was to accurately gauge how much energy I had and then draw up a timetable so that I ensured my daily activities didn’t outstrip my available energy. When I started, I was shocked to see that my available energy was only running at 20% of what it should be. It took a while to get the balance right, but I believe the days, weeks and months that I put in trying to keep within my energy envelope allowed me to heal.

I also started taking a number of supplements – an iron tonic, vitamin D, vitamin C, B12, and a liquid calcium drink. I hasten to add that I didn’t take all these together, but spaced them out appropriately throughout the day. I also tried probiotics, but they simply don’t agree with me so I discontinued with them, though I’m aware that they have helped quite a lot of Long Covid sufferers. I also paid attention to what I ate. My appetite wasn’t large, but I wanted to ensure that everything I consumed would be helping to build me up – so the first thing I did was to eliminate all processed sugar from my diet. I added turmeric tea, which I now love – and I have tahini on toast in the mornings. I’ve been surprised at some of the side effects from not eating sugar. My lower back pain, which should have been giving me constant grief given how long I’ve spent in bed, has hardly grumbled at all. And the pain I was having in my finger joints and wrists has disappeared. I’ve noticed that I’ve less wrinkles around my mouth and eyes, too. While obviously I’ll have the occasional treat for birthdays and Christmas – there’s no way I’m going back to having my twice-weekly sticky bun. I’m eating a lot of salads and as we’re vegetarians, we eat a lot of veg anyway.

Another recommendation was to make life as easy as possible – so we ordered a bath stool so I was sitting down in the shower, which I still use as it makes the whole process far less tiring. And there are still days when staggering to the bathroom to have a shower is a big deal.

This wasn’t the only useful book I got hold of – the other one was The Long Covid Self Help Guide published by the specialists at the Oxford Long Covid clinic, which I found really helpful in rebalancing my energy versus activity output. I strongly recommend this book for anyone battling with Long Covid and the book on pacing for others dealing with Post-Viral Fatigue. Other than that, it was a question of taking each day at a time and trying to stay as calm and positive as possible – I was shocked at just how much energy negative emotions take once I became well enough for my fury and sadness to surface at having lost such a chunk of my life. If I am getting tired, a fifteen-minute meditation is a brilliant way of resting as it’s a super recharge, helping both mind and body. Others have also found yoga to be similarly helpful.

I am also very lucky to have found an excellent reflexologist, who has certainly helped. My progress stalled last September/October and within a couple of weeks of seeing Laura, a holistic healer who runs Sole to Soul, several major symptoms shifted and improved. I don’t think I’d be where I am now without her intervention.

I am now on the road to recovery, though I still have a way to go. Overall, I put on a stone in weight and given just how inactive I’ve been and my age, it could have been a lot worse. However, I’m keen to lose it. Partly because there is a huge chunk of my wardrobe that I cannot wear and partly because at a time when all my energy is precious – I’m lugging around too many unwanted pounds. I’m now exploring attending a course at the local Leisure Centre specifically for people who wish to recondition their bodies after a significant illness and in the near future, I’ll see if I can get a doctor’s referral. I’m hoping to regain my former fitness so I can reclaim my life. And it’s the least I can do for my wonderful husband and helpmate, who looked after me throughout this terrible time with so much love and tenderness.

• Nasal drip and sore sinuses. I’d never heard of nasal drip before I got covid. But this is where instead of mucus running from your nose, it trickles down the back of your throat. This results in a certain amount of discomfort, a horrid taste in the mouth and bad breath. This symptom surfaced sometime during November 2021, after a minor cold. At first I was pleased, as I thought it would drain my poor sore lymph glands. However, it didn’t. It was only my right nostril that was affected, but as time wore on, the sinuses in the right side of my face became swollen and tender and finally even the top of my head grew sore where the sinus cavities on the top of my head were becoming inflamed. It was dreary – and dragged on from November, throughout the winter and finally events came to a head during this summer.
My solution: I had candling and sinus massages at regular intervals, which kept the symptoms manageable. In between my treatments, I was able to prevent my ear from becoming infected by relieving the pressure using a little battery-operated scalp massager which proved to be a lifesaver. I found it very handy for massaging the drainage points for my sinuses once the tenderness spiked into something sharper.

Finally, in June 2022 after dealing with this for seven months, I woke up to a streaming nose. At first I thought I’d gone down with a cold, but it was just the right nostril that was congested – the left one was completely clear. I coped with it for nearly two months, but there was no sign of it easing. By now my nose was sore and my face felt it was about to fall off every time I bent over – a sure sign that my sinuses were infected. I phoned up the surgery and got an emergency appointment and was immediately put on a course of antibiotics. And within three days of starting the course, it had completely dried up. It took another week or so for my sinuses to calm right down and best of all – my lymph glands also returned to their normal shape. And to all intents and purposes, as I haven’t suffered any form of relapse sending me back to bed since the middle of August – I think I can now say at the beginning of October 2021, my Long Covid is now over.

And I cannot begin to sum up just what a relief it is to be able to type those words. While this was always the outcome I was aiming for – there was a long time when it seemed a distant dream. For those of you struggling in the middle of this slow-motion nightmare, let me offer you light at the end of the tunnel. It is possible to recover from the endless cycle of improvement followed by relapse and there can be a time when the never-ending stream of one grotty symptom after another will ease up. Just don’t give up hope.

SUNDAY POST – LIVING WITH LONG COVID #17

This is my update on how I’m coping with Long Covid now it’s been over fifteen months since I first got ill, which I’m adding to my Sunday Post blog, hosted by Kimberly at Caffeinated Reviewer.

My grandmother had a saying, “What goes up must come down.” And yes… it absolutely applies to my current situation. After celebrating my triumphant return to something approaching my life before I got sick with Covid – I then had another relapse that lasted nearly a fortnight, where I spent most of the day in bed again, feeling utterly exhausted. And this time around it was a lot harder to endure after having once more felt like the person I used to be.

The good news is that I know exactly what triggered this setback – my hospital appointment at the Breast Care Clinic, where I had a thorough exam by a consultant, a mammogram and ultrasound scan – just to ensure that some of my Long Covid symptoms weren’t masking something far more sinister and life-shortening. I was so impressed at the efficient and kindly staff and I’m delighted to be able to report that all is well. But the appointment was over three hours long and entailed having to get dressed and undressed a number of times and was also rather emotionally gruelling, as well as extremely painful at times. Small wonder that I was knocked back afterwards.

The huge light at the end of this tunnel is that I am now able to write, once my energy levels improved again. I’ve been editing for a while – but not said too much about it, as initially every time I mentioned I was able to work on my manuscripts, I then promptly found I couldn’t. And it massively mattered to me that I’d lost my ability to write – to be honest, it’s been one of hardest things I’ve had to cope with. And – yes – I know I’ve been regularly knocking out a steady stream of reviews. But while I enjoy recording my responses to the books I’ve read, I don’t define myself creatively by my non-fiction output. For me, it’s always been about the stories I tell. I’ve been writing science fiction and fantasy for longer than I care to think and to quote the late great Terry Pratchett, ‘Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.’ I’ll fully endorse that! And when I simply didn’t have the mental energy to hold a character and his story in my head long enough to get it down onto the page, I was devastated. Though the big silver lining was said lack of energy meant that devastation was overlaid by a Zenlike calm caused by my inability to feel very much about anything. So when this week, I finally completed the chapter I’d started before I went down with Covid, I wept with relief that my secret dread – that I’d never regain my ability to write – hasn’t come to pass. I’m thrilled that dear old Castellan is back in my life in all his grumpy glory😊.

Our Boomerang Boy is back with us this weekend, which is another joy. He cycled over on Friday night and will be going home again later today. We went shopping together in Rustington yesterday – he is such good company. And today, my sister is coming over to see us, which is also such a treat. Himself is, as ever, my rock and my saviour – even though my relapse coincided with his annual leave so that we ended up doing very little and going nowhere together, despite optimistic plans for day trips to places we’ve missed seeing for the past year and bit. I’m so blessed that his love, constancy and care has never faltered.

This week I’ve read:-

Veiled Threat – Book 3 of the Highland Magic series by Helen Harper
Integrity Taylor has regained possession of her ancestral lands – and inherited a whole host of new problems. The spectre of what really happened to her parents is casting a shadow over everything while Fomori demons are being sighted up and down the Highlands. It doesn’t help that Aifric Moncrieffe still seems determined to see her dead and emerald-eyed Byron remains stubbornly blind to his father’s true nature.

Integrity is determined to stay in control of her own destiny, however, even if it means confronting the darkness across the Veil yet again. And at least she’s still got a sense of humour…
Harper has nailed writing feisty heroines facing huge odds, who cope with dollops of often inappropriate humour – which I thoroughly enjoy. This latest adventure also has brought some intriguing twists to the ongoing narrative arc, which means it won’t be long before I tuck into the next book, which I think is the final one in this entertaining series. Which, I’m dreading – as I’ve grown very fond of Integrity. 9/10

AUDIOBOOK – Od Magic by Patricia A. McKillip
Brenden Vetch has a gift. With an innate sense he cannot explain to himself or describe to others, he connects to the agricultural world, nurturing gardens to flourish and instinctively knowing the healing properties each plant and herb has to offer. But Brenden’s gift isolates him from people–and from becoming part of a community.

Until the day he receives a personal invitation from the wizard Od. She needs a gardener for her school in the great city of Kelior, where every potential wizard must be trained to serve the Kingdom of Numis. For decades the rulers of Numis have controlled the school, believing they can contain the power within it–and punish any wizard who dares defy the law.But unknown to the reigning monarchy is the power possessed by the school’s new gardener–a power that even Brenden isn’t fully aware of, and which is the true reason Od recruited him…
This standalone fantasy adventure is a joy. I was hugely impressed by McKillip’s The Forgotten Beasts of Eld – see my review. So jumped at the chance to tuck into this one when it came up as a freebie with my Audible membership. And I wasn’t disappointed – it’s stood the test of time very well. I particularly enjoyed the shafts of dry humour throughout and loved dear Brendon. Though it’s a pity that the cover decided to depict Od as some glamorous maiden, when McKillip is at such pains to describe her so very differently. 9/10

Death and Hard Cider – Book 19 of the Benjamin January series by Barbara Hambly
September, 1840. A giant rally is being planned in New Orleans to stir up support for presidential candidate William Henry Harrison: the Indian-killing, hard-cider-drinking, wannabe “people’s president”. Trained surgeon turned piano-player Benjamin January has little use for politicians. But the run-up to the rally is packed with balls and dinner parties, and the meagre pay is sorely needed.

Soon, however, January has more to worry about than keeping his beloved family fed and safe. During an elegant reception thrown by New Orleans’ local Whig notables, the son of a prominent politician gets into a fist-fight with a rival over beautiful young flirt Marie-Joyeuse Maginot – and, the day after the rally is over, Marie-Joyeuse turns up dead. The only black person amongst the initial suspects is arrested immediately: January’s dear friend, Catherine Clisson. With Catherine’s life on the line, January is determined to uncover the truth and prove her innocence. But his adversaries are powerful politicians, and the clock is ticking . . .
What a treat. Hambly’s vivid evocation of the time and place had me dreaming of it – and I am just a bit in love with Benjamin January. It’s the first time I’ve read this series, but it certainly won’t be the last. 10/10

AUDIOBOOK – Destroyer – Book 7 (Sequence 3, Book 1) of the Foreigner series by C.J. Cherryh
It has been two years since the starship Phoenix left Alpha Station on a rescue mission where over four thousand human spacers were under attack by a hostile alien race. Now, exhausted from their journey, the crew of the Phoenix yearns for home. But when the ship makes the jump into atevi space, they learn the worst: that supplies to the station have been cut off; that civil war has broken out on the atevi mainland; that the powerful Western Association has been overthrown; and that Tabini-aiji, Bren Cameron’s primary supporter and Ilisidi’s grandson and ally, is missing and may be dead.

With no one left to lead the Western Association, Ilisidi and Bren know that the survival of their allies lies in their hands. And with the atevi world at war, the only safe landing strip lies on the human colony at Mospheira. Although there are many dangers inherent in bringing a powerful atevi leader such as Ilisidi onto human lands, Bren realizes they have no other choice. But even if they safely survive their landing, will Bren and Ilisidi together prove strong enough to muster the remaining shards of the Western Association and regain control of their planet?

The long-running Foreigner series can also be enjoyed by more casual genre readers in sub-trilogy installments. Destroyer is the 7th Foreigner novel. It is also the 1st book in the third subtrilogy.
This audiobook was a lifesaver during a couple of particularly wretched nights when I simply couldn’t sleep, despite feeling utterly exhausted – not a combination I recommend. Daniel May’s brilliant narration brought poor old Bren’s current woes to life and had me crouching in the pouring rain alongside him, hoping that all his associates would survive the desperate battle raging around him. This series really comes into its own when listening to it and I’m delighted there are plenty more Foreigner adventures to enjoy. 9/10

Delusions of the Past – Reg Rawlins #6 – Books 4-6 of the Reg Rawlins, Psychic Investigator series by P.D. Workman
What kind of a monster poisons a psychic’s cat? When Starlight first fell ill, Reg thought that she was the cause of it. She should have been watching him more carefully. She should have found out about household plants and chemicals that could hurt her familiar. She was clearly a negligent owner.

But it soon becomes clear that there is some darker force at work, and Reg is going to need all of her resources to find the culprit before it is too late if she is to have any chance of saving her furry companion’s life.
I really enjoy this series. Some cosy mystery series are so slathered in treacle they become frankly sickly – this one isn’t. In amongst the cute pets and intriguing fantasy creatures is a hard edge that means the story can often take an unexpected turn to a place just dark enough to keep me turning the pages, desperate to discover what happens next. And with Workman, you can’t ever really predict what that will be… I’ve just spent money we don’t really have to buy the next bundle, because I want more Reg Rawlins in my life. 8/10

This week I have posted:

*NEW RELEASE SPECIAL* Review of Death and Hard Cider – Book 19 of the Benjamin January series by Barbara Hambly

*NEW RELEASE SPECIAL* Review of The Knave of Secrets by Alex Livingston

Can’t-Wait-Wednesday featuring The Veiled Masters: a Twilight Imperium novel by Tim Pratt

Thank you so much for visiting and commenting. I’m aware that right now, it’s a very one-sided relationship and I don’t know when I’ll be able to fully reciprocate. In the meantime, do take care and try to keep well.

SUNDAY POST – LIVING WITH LONG COVID #3

This is my fortnightly (hopefully) Sunday Post update – hosted by Kimberly at Caffeinated Reviewer – on how I’m doing while coping with Long Covid now it’s been 8 months since I first got ill . And as usual, it’s been a bit up and down. My wonderful sister suggested that I see a reflexologist as I felt I’d got a bit stuck. So I went ahead and found Laura – a lovely lady, who lives only a fifteen-minute drive from where I live, which is really important. Right now, I don’t have the energy for a long journey. We discovered that we both taught at the same Junior school back in the 1990s and I immediately liked and trusted her. I’ve had a couple of sessions so far and it’s going well.

During our first consultation, Laura suggested that I get my thyroid checked out, as she is concerned at the pressure I feel at the base of my throat, particularly when I’m tired. So I phoned up the Dr last week – and was given an immediate face-to-face appointment that morning. I saw a very sympathetic Dr, who suggested that I have a scan to check out my thyroid and arranged a blood test. Though she did warn me that in all likelihood, it will come back entirely normal, as Long Covid generally doesn’t present many symptoms during such investigations.

Having the reflexology appointment on the Friday, the Dr’s appointment on the following Monday and a blood test on Wednesday pretty much wiped me out for the rest of the week. Though I didn’t end up bedridden again, and all but one of the days, I was still well enough to shower – so I take that as a win. Himself had some annual leave this week and I really appreciated it. As I’m feeling more alert, I miss him when he’s working. Normally, I’m busy writing or blogging, or out and about so I am too occupied to sit around, wondering what he’s doing. Not so these days.

One of my lovely Creative Writing students suggested that I start writing haikus, as she was very concerned to learn that I have currently lost the ability to write my novels. I thought it an excellent idea – the Japanese three-line, seventeen-syllable poetry form seemed something that I should be able to manage. However, while the first one was reasonably positive – the next five I spent the early hours of the morning writing were so filled with rage and pain that I realised I couldn’t do this anymore. To be honest – it was a shock. I hadn’t appreciated all those feelings were lurking under the surface and while I need to sort them out at some stage, this isn’t the time. Not while I’m battling so hard to get better.

Thank goodness for fabulous books and gripping TV series! They’re a life-saver as they allow me to simply escape from the whole situation when I need to. Yay for The Gilmore Girls, which I loved – and I’m now up to date with Chesapeke Shores. I’ve also found meditation a huge help throughout the day to rest and relax both my body and mind. It also helps me keep a positive mindset.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate the stream of good wishes for my recovery that I have received since I started posting about Long Covid. I can’t have many visitors as I don’t have the energy to sustain much of a conversation. Though it was wonderful when Frank, our eldest grandson, popped in yesterday afternoon to catch up. It was such a relief to find that he’s settling in really well on his animation course at college and thoroughly enjoying it.

This week I’ve read:-

HMS Nightingale – Book 4 of the Alexis Carew series by J.A. Sutherland
For Lieutenant Alexis Carew, it should be the perfect assignment — a command of her own and a chance to return to her home star system.

What she finds is a surly crew, the dregs of every frigate and ship of the line to pass through on the way to the war’s front, a first officer who thinks the command should have been his, and colonial worlds where they believe a girl’s place is somewhere very different than command of a Queen’s starship. Add to that the mysterious disappearances of ships vital to the war effort and an old enemy who seems intent on convincing her he’s changed. Then there’s the mongoose with an unnatural affinity for her boots.
I’ve really enjoyed this series so far – the ‘Hornblower in space’ scenario works well, which is largely down to the feisty character of Alexis Carew. She is a pleasing mix of aggression and vulnerability, without too much angst. That said, I’m also pleased to see symptoms of PTSD in this instalment as she’s been through some heavy-duty action. Good to see a strong protagonist who isn’t Teflon-coated with invincibility.
9/10

Buried Memories – Book 10 of the Ishmael Jones series by Simon R. Green
As long-buried memories from his hidden past begin to resurface, Ishmael Jones and his partner Penny feel compelled to return to the small country town where Ishmael crash-landed in 1963; the place where his memories began. Norton Hedley is no ordinary town. Apparitions, sudden disappearances, sightings of unusual beasts: for centuries, the place has been plagued by a series of inexplicable events. Ishmael’s first task is to track down local author Vincent Smith, the one man he believes may have some answers.

Ishmael and Penny aren’t the only ones seeking the mysterious Mr Smith. When their search unearths a newly-dead body in the local mortuary – a body that’s definitely not supposed to be there – Ishmael becomes the prime suspect in the ensuing murder investigation. His only hope of discovering the truth about his origins lies in exposing a ruthless killer.
Another enjoyable offering in this intriguing and quirky series, where a disguised alien ends up trouble-shooting for a shadowy, undercover organisation tasked with keeping creepy things under control. These stories so easily could be a violent, dark, action-fuelled gore-fest – but while it is often dark, action-fuelled and more than a tad gory, it’s often also funny. I loved learning more about Ishmael’s origin story in this latest episode.
8/10

Inborn Magic – Book 1 of the Hidden Coven series by Kim McDougall
It should have been a simple spell…
Light into heat, heat into flame.
How did it all go so wrong?
Paralyzed … magic drained … Bobbi lies wondering …
Only the Mistress of the Hidden Coven can save her, but Quinn doesn’t want to let a stranger past the coven wards. It’s his job to keep strangers out. Especially when a demon is hell-bent on stealing their most precious resource—magic.

Can Quinn lower his shields enough to let Bobbi in?
Can Bobbi trust these witches to help her tame the wild magic inside her?
No one can stand alone against the coming darkness.
No witch can hide any longer.
This novella packs a punch with a gripping opening sequence that really showcases the author’s writing chops. I enjoyed where the story is going and despite being shorter than I usually like, I definitely will be reading the next book in the series.
8/10

Madrenga by Alan Dean Foster
A vital message. A desperate queen. A hero in the making.

He is plainly too young and too inexperienced for the mission, but on the advice of her aged adviser Natoum, and with her husband off at war, the Queen reluctantly assigns the task of delivery to…

Madrenga.

Accompanied only by a runt of a pony and a scrap of a pup, he sets off to transport the royal message to its destination. No matter what it might take. But things are not always what they seem. Heroes are sometimes made of the strangest stuff, and love is to be found in the most unexpected places. If one doesn’t die while treading the lethal path…
Himself bought this standalone fantasy quest adventure last year, so I tucked into it. And thoroughly enjoyed the twists and turns – as well as discovering exactly what or who Madrenga really is. It takes a writer with skill and experience to pull off an ongoing mystery that hooks readers throughout the book with such panache. But then, that’s who Alan Dean Foster is…
8/10

Magic’s a Hoot – Book 3 of the Owl Star Witch series by Leanne Leeds
Astra assumed every person the Star Card told her to save would be…well, worth saving. But when sister Ami turns over the glowing goddess card during Gloria Fisher’s reading on her perpetually drunk—and targeted for death—husband, William? The witch realizes the gods move in mysterious ways.
As she delves deep into the man’s complicated life, Astra’s investigation devolves into chaos when a painting William Fisher insured goes missing. What’s even worse? The police think he was in on the scheme.

Can Astra find the painting, clear the man, and keep his whole life policy in force? Or will William’s accidental death insurance have to pay out?
I’ve enjoyed the first two books in this well-written series, where the plotting is twisty and there is plenty of humour – but this is the one that really ramps up the stakes. Friendship and family feature heavily in this series, and while I enjoyed the mystery, it’s the interaction between siblings and friends that had me continuing to turn the pages. And a very grumpy owl, who is rapidly becoming my favourite sentient creature…
9/10

The Noose of a New Moon – Book 1 of the Wolfbrand series by Helen Harper

Devereau Webb is in uncharted territory. He thought he knew what he was doing when he chose to enter London’s supernatural society but he’s quickly discovering that his new status isn’t welcome to everyone. He’s lived through hard times before and he’s no stranger to the murky underworld of city life. But when he comes across a young werewolf girl who’s not only been illegally turned but who has also committed two brutal murders, he will discover just how difficult life can be for supernaturals – and also how far his own predatory powers extend.
This spinoff series fills in the gaps for those of us also following Harper’s very successful and enjoyable Firebrand series, set in London. I’m a real fan of this author, and this latest book didn’t disappoint. Devereau is an awesome protagonist, whose undeniable power doesn’t mean he’s invincible.
9/10

The Quicksilver Court – Book 2 of the Rooks and Ruin series by Melissa Caruso
Ryxander, Warden of Gloamingard, has failed. Unsealed by her blood, the Door hidden within the black tower has opened. Now, for the first time since the age of the Graces, demons walk the world.

As tensions grow between nations, all eyes-and daggers are set on Morgrain, fallen under the Demon of Discord’s control. In an attempt to save her home from destruction, Ryx and the Rookery set out to find a powerful artifact. But powerful enemies are on the hunt and they’re closing in fast.
This is a fabulous read – but whatever you do – read The Obsidian Tower first if you haven’t already had the pleasure. This one follows straight on from the events that take place – and Caruso doesn’t hang around to catch you up. The book creaks with tension as the stakes are high – and then go on ramping up. A twisty plot, captivating characters and brilliantly evocative writing – this is one of my outstanding reads of the year so far. Review to follow.
10/10

Reviews published since my last Sunday Post:-

*NEW RELEASE SPECIAL* – Review of The Green Man’s Challenge – Book 4 of The Green Man series by Juliet E. McKenna

*NEW RELEASE SPECIAL* – Review of Buried Memories – Book 10 of the Ishmael Jones series by Simon R. Green

*NEW RELEASE SPECIAL* Review of Battle Ground – Book 17 of the Harry Dresden series by Jim Butcher

*NEW RELEASE SPECIAL* Review of The Last Graduate – Book 2 of the Scholomance series by Naomi Novik

Thank you so much for visiting and commenting. I’m very aware that right now, it’s a very one-sided relationship and I don’t know when I’ll be in a position to start to reciprocate. In the meantime, do take care and try to keep well.

SUNDAY POST – LIVING WITH LONG COVID #2

In my previous article, I wrote about the run-up to the crisis that had me in despair, which happened just after my last major relapse in the third week of August. In this Sunday Post, hosted by Kimberly, the Caffeinated Reviewer, I’ll talk about what I discovered when I was well enough to be able to go online and search for more information.

The first couple of times I’d searched, I’d found some rather generic advice and a couple of accounts by other sufferers. But there was nothing specific that I could actually use to help me form any kind of coherent recovery plan. The doctor had organised a blood test, which discovered that I was slightly deficient in vitamin D, which I promptly fixed by ordering the recommended dose of tablets. However, that didn’t appear to make any difference. This time around, my online searching hit the jackpot.

Almost immediately, I came across an article recommending that Long Covid sufferers struggling with chronic fatigue get hold of a book – Classic Pacing: For a Better Life with ME by Ingebjørg Midsem Dahl, which I immediately ordered. I went for the print version, which is a bit of a beast, but I use a bookstand so I’m not holding it and I think it’s by far the better option. There are tables and lists, which are much easier to read on a real page, rather than on an ebook. At long last, I had a measure of the extent of my condition and – even more importantly – a strategy to try and stabilise my symptoms, so that I wasn’t trapped in this miserable pattern of recovery and relapse. The book recommends that I gauge my energy levels, then attempt to operate below my limit to ideally avoid becoming bedridden again.

That said, I was a bit chastened when I realised just how limited my life would be – no more quick trips to the beach for the foreseeable future. But we reckoned it was worth it if it helps my ultimate recovery from Long Covid. It also recommends that I take advantage of any equipment to enable me to rest – like using a bath stool to sit while showering, for example. This has meant I’m able to shower more frequently, which helps my mental health. When I am too weak to shower, most days I can still manage a quick wash while sitting at the sink. I went to the physio to get a set of very gentle exercises I can do lying down, on my good days, to try and stop my body becoming a flabby blob. Though fortunately, so far I haven’t put on any weight. On really good days, I take a walk around the block with Himself, using my walking staff as support to help with my balance issues. I think I’m getting a bit quicker, but a dozing snail could still overtake me with ease.

The other major recommendation was to rest frequently during the day, after each task. This prospect would have left me dismayed – but for the fact that someone online had recommended using meditation. Not only does it assist in resting the mind and body, it also teaches calmness and focus. When I mentioned this to my son, he immediately pointed me towards Headspace, an app I could upload onto my phone. This has been a huge help in helping me rest mindfully, but also to meditate on getting better, keeping positive and being kinder to myself. There are also sleepcasts and meditations to help relax before bedtime, which is important as I have a dysfunctional relationship with sleep that goes back years.

I now keep an activity journal, where I write down what I do every day and give each day a mark out of 10 for my mental and physical state. Himself has been putting these in a graph – I’ve now two months of data, as I’d started keeping the score before my relapse. This is important as Time now feels very odd. Each day runs quite slowly, but when I look back, days and weeks seem to bleed into one another so my perception of what has gone before is completely impaired. And obviously, to aid my recovery I need to understand whether I’m getting better or not, so I need a clear record of what happens on a daily basis.

I no longer make any plans – and this was initially something of a struggle as I’m an inveterate list-maker and each night, I’d work out what the coming day’s tasks would be. But I simply can’t, as I never know how I’ll be feeling. I can have three good days in a row – and the next morning wake up feeling fragile and slightly sick when I move. So it’s best not to add an extra twist of disappointment by then having to put a line through any activities I was looking forward to doing.

I pay close attention to what I eat and drink. Fortunately, I don’t have much of an appetite so I’m not tempted to snack or comfort-eat – but I learnt early on that sugar is not my friend in any form. It makes me tired, depressed and causes joint pain, particularly in my back where I have a dodgy disc, anyway. So no sweets, biscuits, or cakes – I’ve even discovered they put sugar in lots of bread. So it’s sourdough slices for my morning toast and in the evening, there’s plenty of fresh vegetables, often with a side salad, all prepared by Himself. I love my lapsang souchong, but limit myself to two cups a day – and then it’s onto a variety of herbal teas, including peppermint and liquorice; lavender and oat; redbush and turmeric. While I’m aware that caffeine can be inflammatory and it would be ideal to cut it out – there’s a balance. And right now, I reckon I need those two cups of tea in my life.

I need to stay upbeat and positive to get through this – and not just for my sake. Himself has been an absolute trooper throughout – unfailingly kind and nurturing. But I’m very aware that he is under enormous strain, not only holding down an important, safety-critical job, but then coming home and looking after me, while doing all the housework, shopping and cooking. Whenever I’m tempted to feel sorry for myself, I remember that in many ways he has it worse than I do. And whatever the future holds – there isn’t a quick fix ahead of us. I’m banking on being part of the statistical cohort that eventually recovers – I have to believe that. I had a wonderful life before this happened and I want it back. But realistically, I still have months ahead of me – maybe years – whereby I have to focus on pacing myself below what I can do in the hope that gives my body sufficient surplus energy to devote to healing itself. Wish me luck! In the meantime, I’ll try to post updates on my progress and anything I’ve encountered or experienced that might help others in my situation. Thank you so very much for your comments and good wishes – it’s been lovely to reconnect with so many of you. Though please understand that I’m likely to disappear again, as being able to spend any time in front of the computer only happens when I’m feeling at my very best.

I’ve been reading like a fiend during my illness – thank goodness for books, both audio and digital! Without them I’d be gibbering at the moon by now. I lead a very limited life and being able to escape into all sorts of intriguing worlds and adventures has helped to pass the time and keep me entertained. This week I’ve read:-

Assassin’s Bond – Book 3 of the Chains of Honor series by Lindsay Buroker
Yanko and his friends must escape a Turgonian prison and find passage back home before their enemies claim an advantage that could change the world. And not for the good of the Nurian people.

But even more trouble awaits at home. Civil war has broken out, Yanko’s family is in danger, and the man who sent him on his mission has disappeared. If Yanko can’t find Prince Zirabo, he’ll forever remain a criminal and be hunted down by his own people. Worse, his only chance to survive and redeem his honor may be to rely on the one person who’s been trying to kill him since his adventure began.
This next instalment in this entertaining adventure is full of action, incident, quirky amusing characters and laugh-aloud moments. Buroker has become a favourite author of mine over the last few months. I’m so impressed at her ability to tell a cracking story full of tension and emotion and yet still manage to inject real humour throughout.
9/10

The Necropolis Empire: A Twilight Imperium novel by Tim Pratt
Bianca Xing has spent a lifetime on a provincial planet, dreaming of travelling the stars. When her planet is annexed by the Barony of Letnev, Bianca finds herself being taken into custody, told that she’s special – the secret daughter of a brilliant scientist, hidden away on a remote planet for her own safety.

But the truth about Bianca is stranger. There are secrets hidden in her genetic code that could have galaxy altering consequences. Driven by an incredible yearning and assisted by the fearsome Letnev Captain, Dampierre, Bianca must follow her destiny to the end, even if it leads to places that are best left forgotten.
This is a real treat. Pratt’s breezy tone drives this adventure forward with verve and pace which had me really caring for the protagonists. He writes truly nice characters very well, which is harder than he makes it look. Review to follow.
9/10

The Broken Throne – Book 16 of the Schooled in Magic series by Christopher G. Nuttall
The Kingdom of Zangaria has fallen into civil war. On one side, King Randor and his forces, determined to impose his rule over the entire kingdom; on another, the noblemen who want to crush the king; on a third, Princess Alassa and the Levellers.

Caught in the middle, Emily must steer a course between her loyalty to her friend, her duty to people who put their faith in her and her fears for the future. But King Randor has unleashed forces even he may be unable to control…
This is another cracking series that has continued to deliver all sorts of unexpected twists and turns that has me enthralled. This particular episode charts some of the fallout caused by Emily bringing inventions from contemporary Earth to a feudal system driven by magic.
9/10

Battle Ground – Book 17 of the Harry Dresden series by Jim Butcher
Harry has faced terrible odds before. He has a long history of fighting enemies above his weight class. The Red Court of vampires. The fallen angels of the Order of the Blackened Denarius. The Outsiders.

But this time it’s different. A being more powerful and dangerous on an order of magnitude beyond what the world has seen in a millennium is coming. And she’s bringing an army. The Last Titan has declared war on the city of Chicago, and has come to subjugate humanity, obliterating any who stand in her way. Harry’s mission is simple but impossible: Save the city by killing a Titan. And the attempt will change Harry’s life, Chicago, and the mortal world forever.
Don’t pick this one up unless you have read Peace Talks and clearly recall the story or you’ll flounder. The action moves forward from the previous book and Butcher doesn’t hang around. And the title is spot on – the whole book essentially describes an epic battle, from the build-up to the immediate fallout. Review to follow.
8/10

Scorched Heart – Book 4 of the Firebrand series by Helen Harper
My parents were brutally murdered when I was five years old. Their killer has spent the last twenty-five years in prison for his terrible crimes – but I still have unanswered questions. After all, I am the phoenix. When I die, I am reborn in fire and brimstone. It happens again and again and again. I have no idea where my strange ability came from and nobody to ask.

Now another shocking murder has been committed in the small village where my parents died and there is evidence which suggests the killer is supernatural. The crime gives me the perfect reason to return to my childhood home. I can offer my expertise as a Supe Squad detective – and seek the truth behind what I really am. The trouble is that I might not like what I find.
In this, the fourth instalment of this exciting Brit-based urban fantasy featuring Emma, we finally discover the mystery behind the tragedy that has overshadowed her life since she was five. Harper’s pacy plotting and engaging characters have drawn me into this world and I really enjoyed the twisty climax to this tense murder mystery.
9/10

Owl’s Fair – Book 2 The Owl Star Witch series by Leanne Leeds
Once Astra Arden realized her life’s direction had been chosen for her by the goddess Athena, the former witch tracker did her best to adjust. After all, there were destinies you could fight to change, and there were destinies that, when refused, might get you turned into a stone statue for eternity.

When the altruistic Alice Windrow comes to Athena’s Garden for a tarot card reading, the cheerful young woman seems to not have a care in the world. Known throughout the town for her philanthropy funded by a distant relative’s substantial inheritance, she only wishes assurance that the marathon she sponsored will come off without a hitch. The reading takes a turn when Athena’s glowing Star Card flips—showing someone has it in for the innocent Alice. Can Astra and her sisters unravel the plot in time to stop Alice’s murder? Or will the generous girl find that her marathon is officially over—for good?
I’d found some of the reads this week a tad intense – so I went looking for something a bit more lighthearted. And recalled that I’d recently read the first book in this enjoyable urban fantasy series about poor old Astra having to move back home and being tasked to prevent murders before they happen on behalf of the goddess Athene. She even has a talking owl for help – though Archie provides all sorts of problems along the way, too. This enjoyable offering is skilfully plotted, with plenty of twists and tension along with the laughs. Just what I needed!
9/10

Thank you so much for visiting and commenting. I’m very aware that right now, it’s a very one-sided relationship and I don’t know when I’ll be in a position to start to reciprocate. In the meantime, do take care and have a lovely week:).

SUNDAY POST – LIVING WITH LONG COVID – March to August 2021

I’m aware that after mentioning on my blog that I was struggling with Long Covid, I would occasionally pop up for a few articles and then disappear again. Sometimes there would be a smiling pic of me and Himself, looking reasonably okay. However, there hasn’t been any continuity and I increasingly haven’t been visiting other blogs or being part of the lovely online bookish community that matters so much to me. So while I can, I thought I’d try to explain what has been happening over the last seven months during this Sunday Post article, hosted by the Caffeinated Reviewer. This section takes us to the third week in August…

Looking back, having Covid now seems a bit of a blur. I do know that Himself and I went down with it together. He was a lot sicker than me, as he had problems breathing which was aggravated by his severe sleep apnea. He needs a mask and a machine to help him breathe, but the breathlessness meant he couldn’t wear his mask. Neither could he manage breathing lying down. At its worst, he spent several days – at least four – sitting in his chair in the corner of the lounge, gasping like a fish out of water. His hands were freezing and yellow and he couldn’t get warm. That was the bit that really scared me – Himself hardly ever feels cold. And never in the house with the fire going.

Given that we’d gone down with the same illness at the same time, you’d think our symptoms would be similar, but they weren’t. I didn’t have any breathing problems and instead of Himself’s difficulty in keeping warm, I was running hot with a temperature. But more than anything else, I felt achy and tired. Overwhelmingly tired. Apparently I slept eighteen hours at a time – Himself several times struggled up the stairs to make sure I was still breathing. But then, I regularly also checked up on him during the middle of the night, after jerking awake bathed in sweat in the middle of a fever-dream, convinced he’d died in his chair in the corner of the lounge. I couldn’t sit in there with him, because it was unbearably hot and I was in too much pain with aching joints and a stiletto-sharp stabbing between the ribs on my right side. That still bothers me during my relapses. I remember becoming convinced that he’d die – and feeling utterly helpless. We had a finger monitor to check our blood oxygen levels and Himself was low enough that the Dr phoned him every day to ensure he wasn’t ill enough to go to hospital. I recall feeling that we were in the middle of a complicated nightmare and when I look back on it, that whole period seems like a very bad dream.

Thankfully, we gradually started to recover. However, I still slept a lot and would wake up, groggy and hot, feeling weary. It took me nearly another two weeks after Himself had returned to work in April, before I began to feel a bit more like myself. But every so often I would try to do something, only to be engulfed in a terrible sensation – as if I’d run a very long race. I’d be sweating, my body was shaky and weak, the room would start tilting and I’d feel as if I was about to be sick. Tiredness… fatigue… exhaustion… those words don’t begin to describe it. Sometimes, just putting my feet on the floor while getting out of bed brings it on.

However, I was sure it would pass and very gradually, with a few hitches, I seemed to be getting better. It helped that we had a lot of sunshine in June and July. Indeed, by mid-June I was up and about, and although I did have the odd day when I felt terrible, I finally believed I was able to put the whole horrible experience behind me. Then came the curtain-washing incident. I wanted to clean the house thoroughly and decided one lovely sunny morning to wash the curtains. I managed the lounge curtains and the first set in the hall. But getting on a stool to take down the next set – I was hit again with the same symptoms – shakiness, terrible weakness, dizziness and suddenly I was retching. I crawled upstairs and back to bed. And spent days there, only able to stagger to the adjacent toilet when I had to.

And that has set the pattern ever since. I have intervals when I begin to feel a bit better, but the minute I try to do a little bit more, particularly writing – I am once more felled by incapacitating fatigue. It also blankets my emotions. I’m not upset, or sad when I’m bedridden – and I certainly can’t cry, as I don’t have the energy. I call it ‘zombie mode’. I was also coping with my hair coming out in handfuls. Thankfully that’s now stopped and I’m grateful that my hair used to be really thick, as I’ve lost about half of it. Everyone assures me that it will grow back. Additionally, I suffered badly with eczema across my back, itching terribly during the night sweats that still plague me, even when I’m not in the middle of a relapse.

That depressing routine – of starting to feel a little bit better, before suddenly finding I was overwhelmed by exhaustion – has laid waste to my life. I can’t even reliably empty the dishwasher, or clean the bathroom sink. Small bits of writing can only be done on very, very good days, and there aren’t many of those. I often cannot shower or get dressed and putting on make-up is a distant dream. And while everyone around me was unfailingly kind and encouraging – particularly Himself, who has been a superstar throughout – I began to increasingly feel that this was all that lay ahead of me.

There came a day, just after last relapse when I reached the bottom. I was in despair. Before I got sick, I’d had a wonderful life as a writer and teacher – a life that I’d worked hard to achieve. And now, it seemed to be lying in ashes at my feet. I knew I’d much to be grateful for. Unlike many Long Covid sufferers, I’m not in chronic pain and I don’t suffer the terrible breathlessness that afflicted Himself when he was ill. I’ve a wonderful, supportive husband, who is unfailingly nurturing and kind. But still… this seemed a terrible way to have to spend the rest of my life. I was taking vitamins and supplements, trying to be mindful of my energy – and yet, during August I suffered yet another relapse. This one stretched on for fourteen days and when I finally felt well enough to get up again, I was desperate not to end up in zombie mode again, too tired to think or feel. My previous efforts to find information online hadn’t amounted to much more than some vague advice, which hadn’t been all that useful.

And as if in answer to my prayers – the following day, that’s what happened. A major breakthrough. I’ll talk more about that in my next article – though I can’t promise when I’ll post it. In the meantime, I’m so very grateful for those of you who continue to visit and like and comment whenever I summon the energy to publish a review – thank you!

Tuesday Treasures – 35 #Brainfluffbookblog

This week on Tuesday Treasures, I am featuring more of our unkempt garden… Since I’ve taken these pics – on a day when I was feeling better – Himself has now done a lot of weeding, so it’s looking tidier! And I’m also able to sit out in the sunshine and enjoy it😊.

Tuesday Treasures – 34 #Brainfluffbookblog

This week on Tuesday Treasures, I am featuring our VERY shaggy, rather dishevelled garden. Now I’m suffering from Long Covid, Himself – who was also badly smitten by the illness – now has to do all the cooking, cleaning and gardening, in addition to taking care of me and holding down a full-time job. Therefore the gardening has been a tad neglected… However, he has been weeding, if not cutting back or mowing – and I think the effect is really rather lovely. Now we just need a run of hot weather to be able to sit out in the sunshine and enjoy it.

The fallen echium is the result of a violent storm we had a couple of weeks ago. In all the time I’ve been growing echiums in the garden, since 2005, it’s the first time one has been blown over, but it’s still alive and flowering, so my instinct is to leave it there until the bees stop coming to it.

Tuesday Treasures – 33 #Brainfluffbookblog

This week on Tuesday Treasures, some of the photos are from our beach walk on Sunday and some from the garden. As I didn’t have the energy to spend much time on a long walk, or an extended ramble around the garden, I didn’t get to take many pics. But the sun was shining and it was lovely to walk on the sands for the first time since February!

Tuesday Treasures – 32 #Brainfluffbookblog

This week on Tuesday Treasures, the photos are from last week on a lovely sunny morning when I took a wander around the garden with my camera. The garden is in a dreadful state, given that it is busy being overrun by weeds and neither of us has the energy to do anything about it – but at least some of legal plants are also putting their best foot forward, too.

Tuesday Treasures – 31 #Brainfluffbookblog #LightintheLockdown

This week on Tuesday Treasures, I’m winding back to the beginning of March, which seems like a very long time ago. We went for a walk along Littlehampton Beach just a few days before we both became ill with Covid 19.

It was a lovely sunny day although there was a wind blowing and the sea was a little rough. I have also taken some views through the bench – apparently it’s the longest bench in the world and it runs the length of the seafront and in a couple of places, the designers have snarled it all up to make it longer. Though it wasn’t the top of the tide, the River Arun was higher than usual because we’d had a lot of rain the previous week. And as you can see, they were still busy dredging the mouth of the river for the large gravel boats that work out of Littlehampton Harbour. Stay safe.