The Adventures of Mike and SJ – Episode 8

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This thread started on a forum Mike and I shared, when we started playing off each other about this alternative/fantasy persona we each gave ourselves. Since then, we’ve started writing a novel together and Mike has had a number of books published as Michael D. Griffiths (The Chronicles of Jack Primus, Part I, The Chronicles of Jack Primus, Part II, Eternal Aftermath) while I’ve been busy rewriting several books and establishing my Creative Writing classes at Northbrook College. But though he writes horror and I write sci fi, when we get together, we write… differently! So I thought I’d put a slice of our combined madness on my blog…

nightdressMm… Uh… Where am I? It’s light. We’re not underground anymore. A soft bed – yipee! Hey – Mike! Mike?

*Deep calming breaths* Of course Mike isn’t here. Someone rescued us & put me to bed. Don’t know about the flannelette nightie, though. Bit depressing that someone reckoned I was a flannelette female, rather than a baby doll gall… Let’s go and find Mike. Probably in a room next door, or something.

The door’s locked! Hey! Open up! Mike! Are you there? MIIKE!!

Miss Snodgrass? So – you’re definitely not a therapist, then. I think it’s outrageous you impersonating-

Don’t you tell me to be quiet. It’s fraud, you know. Taking my money like that. Pretending to be all concerned… And where’s Mike?

Don’t you give me that ‘need to know’ balderdash – I need to know what you’ve done with my buddy. I invite him over for a holiday and-

Lover? Typical. Minds like sewers, you lot. We’re just very close friends, I’ll have you know. Talking of which – exactly which ‘lot’ are you from – MI5? MI6? I know my rights – I demand my solicitor.

Give him a ring – It’s Mr Greene of Messrs Greene, Greene & Lovett, Goring-on-Sea. He was the executor to Grandma’s Will when she left me the cottage 22 years ago. Of course he’ll remember me – he told me so.

He said, ‘Ms Higbee, acting for you has been an unforgettable experience. I’ll have nightmares about it till my dying day.’ Go on. Ring him. You’ll see.

Get dressed – in that? It’s a paper suit! Hope it doesn’t chafe. I get a skin condition when I’m stressed – not as bad as Mike’s. But bad enough…

What d’you mean? Tell you where he is? I mean… you got Mike. Haven’t you? You must have!

No… It’s not an act. I was singing in the dark – that’s the last I remember. Sitting on his legs to keep out of the mud. For ages and ages. Till my voice went… And then I fell asleep. And woke up in this bed.

Oh Mike… where are you? Please… I need you – I’ve missed you so much. And now you’re gone, again.

***

Er…

This blacking-out thing is getting really bad. First SJ is possessed by that shovel and now I can barely see straight and then when I really need to be at my best – I faint. This time was the worst.

At one moment I have the Orb and I am trying to keep SJ out’ve their clutches – Jack reckons they’re some of the scum he’s been tangling with… And we’re in some tunnels under that old castle – the next minute, I’m locked in some new dungeon. About the only seagullsthing I can tell is that it’s not Chepstow.

Where is SJ? Shoot – where is the Orb? Or Jack for that matter? This is even worse than that time that chick tried to smuggle a cat over the Mexican border and I ended up in jail for 4 days…  AND the darned thing had fleas – give me a pet seagull any day…

Okay. I need to focus before I black out again. What do I know? I know I have nothing except my clothes, which does include my belt and boots, at least. Dang! I just bought that cell phone, too. I go through those like SJ does cups of tea!

I’m probably still in England, because this cell looks pretty old. Jack should be around, but I have to assume that the villains got what they came for and Jack arrived after I… Well I don’t even know what happened to me. I remember holding SJ’s little hand and following the Orb…

At least there is a window even if it is barred… Let’s… see… if I can jump up and catch… a bit of the view… What is that clicking noise?

Wait… – Dathoe!

“Come here buddy!. Okay… I need you to get the keys… C’mon – through the bars… You can fit. Great job! Yeah, yeah… oh man, I forgot how heavy you were sitting on my head. Ow! And now your claws are tangling with the hair! Shh! Stop cawing! Someone will be in to see what’s going on! Get the keys – see? Hanging on the hook over there…. No – NOT flying around and perching on my head, again! Mooooving towards the keys… Come on, Dahtoe… Nice shiny keys… See? Over there? Come on, we have to rescue SJ!  No… NOT the head, again…
Oh man this may take a while.”

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