This thread started on a forum Mike and I shared, when we started playing off each other about this alternative/fantasy persona we each gave ourselves. Since then, we’ve started writing a novel together and Mike has had a number of books published as Michael D. Griffiths (The Chronicles of Jack Primus, Part I, The Chronicles of Jack Primus, Part II, Eternal Aftermath) while I’ve been busy rewriting several books and establishing my Creative Writing classes at Northbrook College. But though he writes horror and I write sci fi, when we get together, we write… differently! So I thought I’d put a slice of our combined madness on my blog…
Oh yeah? Well, here’s a thing Miss Snodgrass- bet that’s not your real name… What’s your christian name?
Hm… Not very fair, is it? You expect me to answer all your questions – and yet you won’t even tell me your name… Let me guess – you look like a Tamsin. I knew a Tamsin at school who used to pull the wings off butterflies.
Rendition? Yeah – of course I’ve heard of- Hey – it’s against the law. You can’t do that. You can’t…
This is it… I’m travelling again. Flying off to foreign climes. *gulp* Let’s not think about where I’m going and what’ll happen when I get there – or I’ll probably end up a sobbing heap on the carpet.
Least they’ve given me back my clothes to make the journey and I’m out of those paper overalls. They HAVE chafed, as it happens… And while wearing them I looked like some Teletubbies’ reject…
Hm… Pity no one got around to washing my jeans after tramping around that filthy corridor – look at this clod of mud stuck on the bottoms. Just a min… There’s something here in the middle of it. Hard and shin- Oh, my sainted aunt – it’s a jewel! Must’ve dropped out of the Orb. Better hang onto it. Maybe I can somehow return it to Her Majesty. I’m certainly not giving it to Miss Snodgrass – wouldn’t trust that gorgon further than I could flick her with my little finger. To think she’s been ordering me around since I arrived back from the States. Wonder why British Intelligence were interested in the Shov- I mean… Hang on, it was Miss Snodgrass who ordered me not to use the Sh-word wasn’t it? Shovel. There I said it. And the roof didn’t fall in, did it?
Oh-oh… Here they come. Deep breaths, SJ. Show a stiff upper lip. Wish I could wipe that grin off Snodgrass’s face… Those two guys with her look mean. Though working with her, it’s hardly surprising. Bet she could sour vinegar with that face…
‘Alright, alright… Don’t shove! I’ve coming quietly.’
Brrr. It’s a bit nippy out here, this morning. And I s’pose that’s where we’re headed – that black SUV parked over there. That was the one tailing us, wasn’t it? Didn’t ever think I’d end up having to sit in it.
Blimey, that seagull overhead is making an almighty racket… And it’s diving… Dahtoe! Yeah – Dahtoe! You sweetheart!
‘Go on – give old Snodgrass a proper scalp massage with those talons of yours – AND poop on her head… Yipee! Yeah! I take back everything I’ve ever said about you… You’re wonderful-
‘Mike! Are you ever a sight for sore eyes. And you’re safe-
Huh – um… Sorry about the hug and kiss. Got a bit carried away. Yeah – I’m good to go. Go on… Faster – I’m right behind you…. Nope – not that way. Turn down this road – here –
‘Stop running. Walk. Look like we’re just out for a stroll. No- not that way. You’re on my turf, buddy. No… I’m not a Londoner. No – I’ve never lived here, either. Or even visit all that much – but I’ve got an Underground map in the front on my diary – which I’ve memorised. So I pretty much know my way around the city. Now… there should be a big yellow circle coming up any minute, soon…’
“Hah, gave those two guys what-for. Did you see that, SJ? I swung the crowbar and he dodged, but I whipped it- Oh no! How’d it slip out’ve my grip like that? Uh-oh… can’t think it flying through that window is good…
“C’mon, SJ. Nope. I’m not running. This is just my very, very, very fast walking… You need to keep up. Well… that’s not a nice thing to say. Haven’t seen you in the longest time and been worrying myself to a shadow over what was happening to you – and now you’re here and once more giving me a pile of grief… Though the kiss was nice.
“What jer mean it was an accident? How can you accidentally kiss someone? Oh – your lips slipped… Hm. Must remember that one…
“Hang on. We’re getting close to Jack. See, there? A pool of spit and baccy. On the sidewalk. And… yes… I can just make out his hat. Over there… on the other side of the road.” We gotta keep moving. I gotta bad feeling about this biz – and shoot – more people littering up these sidewalks than crawdads at the Lilly Ponds… And we need to get over to the other side of this roadway.
“Right. C’mon SJ run! Whoa – London cabbies can surely curse up a storm. Don’t know what his problem is. He stopped without hitting us, right?
“Now – c’mon SJ! Stop hanging around! Don’t want to end up wrapped around the front of that big old red bus… These roads are sure crammed with a load of cars and stuff. Hey! Jack!” Shoot – he’s plain flummoxed by all these folks and hasn’t seen us.
“No… SJ… don’t think jumping up and down and yelling his name like that is a good idea. Nope. Wasn’t thinking about Brit cool, as it happens. I reckon those guys are following us and there are more of them. Shoot – and I had to lose my crowbar…
“Right. Quickly. Down this turning, here, SJ…”
Oh no, they’re following. All six of them. This could be trouble. We are cornered in this old alley.
“Go and hide behind that bin, SJ. Yeah – so it’s smelly. And? I need not to be worrying about you when I-
“Oh yeah! Get em Jack. Go Primus, get your prime on! Howdy-de-do to you, too fella! That boy knows what he is doing. What’s that he’s using on them? A cricket bat! Never seen that before. Here. Hold my phone SJ, I need to jump into the fray. It looks like fun!”