Writing a landscape – you’ll be lost if you don’t…

You’ve got this great story with a really neat ending. You’ve nailed the character – there was this teacher at your school who, with a bit of tweaking, will fit snugly into the part.

Fizzling with creative excitement, you spend the next week slaving over the computer. But on returning to your masterpiece for the first editing session, you are disappointed. It, somehow, seems rather flat. Which is odd – because the character is just as you envisaged and that cool plot twist has worked well, too. Chances are, if you are still scratching your head, your story is lacking an adequate setting. It’s crucial. But can get easily overlooked while trying to marshal all the other vital ingredients necessary to write a zinger.

Another classic ‘newbie’ writing fault is to give us a quick sketch during the opening paragraphs and then never touch on the scenery surrounding the action, again. However, it’s a tricky balancing act. Neither do we want detailed descriptions stretching into paragraphs, where your characters seem to have vanished while you are busy telling us about the lashing rain/drenched cityscape/squalid neighbourhood… How to get the mix just right, so that your characters and action are adequately anchored, without drowning your story in too much description?

This is where our old friend POV (point of view) comes to the rescue. You filter your backdrop through your protagonist– her thoughts, actions and reactions to the weather/Christmas shopping crowds/the herd of cows clogging up the country lane…

If you have multiple viewpoints, you can have some fun with one character loving the café – while another loathes it. Take care if you are writing short fiction, though. I don’t generally recommend switching viewpoints in any story less than 2,500 words. It CAN be done effectively, but you need to be skilful to pull it off.

Writing science fiction, my everyday surroundings can be of limited or no help. I find that using my characters to describe their landscape (or spacescape) is a huge help in getting the setting sufficiently depicted.

At times, I have also found the writing frame below to be useful in jogging my elbow. Although it is fairly crude, notice how it employs all the senses, ensuring that I haven’t neglected any of them. I’ve found it handy when writing a number of scenes in my books, when I don’t necessarily want to describe everything single thing around me to my readership – but I sure as heck want my character to be able to visualise it…

The air was ………………………………………… around me. A few steps in front of me I could see…………………………………
and above me ………………………………………… . The sound of
…………………………………………could be heard. To my right, ……………………………………, while to my left, ……………………
………………………… . Listening, I could hear …………………… …………………and the smell of ………………………………………… filled my nose. It felt ………………………………………… .

Punctuating Dialogue Tags

Most mistakes occur in punctuating dialogue, when adding the direct quote – “I’m not ill.” to the tag – he said, she screamed, they chanted.

The rules are as follows:-

• Use a COMMA to separate the quote from the tag.  Eg:-  “I’m not ill,” she said.

• Use a FULL STOP to separate the quote from the tag if there is no speech verb.  Eg:-  “I’m not ill.”  She glared at him.

As there is no speech verb, the tag is considered to be a separate sentence.

• If the quote ends with an exclamation or question mark, you don’t need to add any further punctuation.  And if the quote is followed by a tag, there is no capital letter at the start of it.  Eg:- “I’m not ill, you’re lying!” she shouted.

BUT when the tag doesn’t have a speech verb, you need to treat it as a separate sentence.  Eg:-  “Am I ill?”  She started crying.

• If the tag interrupts in mid-sentence, use commas to surround it.  Eg:-  “I’m not ill,” she said, “and I wish you’d stop telling me I am.”

• However, if the tag separates two sentences, use a FULL STOP and CAPITALS at the start of each sentence.

Eg:- “I’m not ill,” she said.  “Just mind your own business.”

OR

“I’m not ill.”  She said, “Just mind your own business.”

The second example here sounds a little more awkward because these days, we generally put the tag line at the end of the quote.

• If the tag doesn’t contain a speech verb, consider it a separate sentence.  Eg:-  “I’m not ill.”  She glared at him.  “Just mind your own business.

Remember, the words ‘smiled’, ‘laughed’, ‘grinned’, etc… are not speech verbs.  You cannot ‘smile’ a sentence.  “I’m not ill.”  She smiled.  “But it’s sweet of you to care.”

Sharpen up your dialogue…

Grammar spot

Setting out dialogue – if this doesn’t get nailed at school, it can provide problems. Just remember that if you can put your words inside a comic speech bubble, it should be surrounded by speech marks. Eg,

“Land ho!” called the sailor.

• Whenever someone new starts to talk ALWAYS start a new line, generally indenting it, except at the start of a new section or chapter.
• The text inside the speech marks is known as direct speech.
• The he said/she said lines are known as dialogue tags (more on this later…)
• Although I have added an exclamation mark, go easy on them. Editors generally don’t like them – and never more than one at a time.

General points

Dialogue can:-
• Give an immediate sense of your characters, especially if you ensure they use contrasting speech rhythms, vocabulary based on age, education, etc
• Inject pace, tension and/or humour into your work
• Move the plot along by introducing important information without lengthy descriptions
• Visually break up blocks of text on the page – a fairly modern concern, by the way. But certainly one to take into consideration if you are submitting your work to professional markets and competitions

Dialogue can also:-
• Derail the narrative tension by including too much pointless information, eg, “I’m fine, thank you. How are the kids?” Even in literary fiction, ensure that you compress your speech by taking out everything that isn’t necessary to your plot
• Kill your characters stone-dead with clunky, unrealistic speeches. One of the giveaways of an inexperienced writer is their characters often talk in chunks. In reality, people interrupt. A rule of thumb is never to let your character say more than 3 lines of speech at a time